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Seeking Answers

  
A couple Sunday’s ago, I trekked on over the fabulous RISD Museum to soak up some art before heading back to work. I needed to find some focus after being home for so long. It was a quiet Sunday in the museum so I made a beeline to my favorite piece. The large wooden Buddha. It sits serenely in it’s own room. I usually luck out and have him to myself for at least 5 minutes. I’ll be honest, I was seeking some answers. “To what?” You might ask. Gosh, many things. 

Many of us seek answers don’t we. We pour over our horoscopes, we go to psychics for a reading, we even ask the Magic Eight Ball….why? Will I? What will happen? 

Sometimes, many times perhaps, we don’t know the answers. As Dr. I answered when I asked why I had Cancer. “These things can just happen and we cannot explain why.” Really?! That’s all you got Doc? There are only so many things we have control over. Such as how long to let my cookies bake for:  

 If I don’t set the timer and forget about them they will burn. And then there are those things we don’t have control over. I’ll be honest, I thought after surgery I’d wake up enlightened and calm. Where shit just ‘Does not Bother Me”

A co-worker gave me that classic line, “everything happens for a reason.” (!!!) Well clearly I  did not wake up from surgery and gain patience as I would like to know, what is that reason? 

Perhaps it will come in time, the answers.  

 
I also thought after having Cancer, I’d catch a break. Life would be easier and not as complicated. Well it isn’t easier; Zoë recently had lice again(!! “Really universe? You want to throw this on me?”) I dealt with it of course but I really wanted to gnaw on some of my friend’s fabulous jerky,  

 
Or wallow in my frustration while enjoying a vegetarian sandwich from 7 Stars Bakery.  

 
I could learn to let go:  

 
And trust that the answers will come in time. Ok, life is still complicated. I’ll give myself a break, perhaps embrace the unknown. Put my hands together and just BREATHE.  

 

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